Snips and Snaps
by femme4jack
Summary: Snippets and Ficlets from a recent LJ/DW Meme, all related or continuing various stories I have written that friends were kind enough to prompt me on. Story-verses include Femme, For the Beauty of the Earth, Spider Web Infestations and Other Oddities on the Ark, I Am, Aegis and A Sticky Situation. Rated G-M


**Title: **Snips and Snaps  
**Fandoms:** Movieverse & G1  
**Rating:** General - Mature  
Relationships/Characters: Jazz/Prowl, Optimus Prime/Ironhide, Hound/Mirage/Trailbreaker, Beachcomber/Hound, Seaspray/Trailbreaker, Carly/Spike Witwicky, Mikaela Banes/Wheeljack, Hound/Earth, Starscream, Soundwave  
**Summary:** Snippets and Ficlets from a recent LJ/DW Meme, all related or continuing various stories I have written that friends were kind enough to prompt me on. Story-verses include _Femme, For the Beauty of the Earth, Spider Web Infestations, I Am, Aegis _and_ A Sticky Situation_.  
**Content:** Individually listed at Ao3 on each snippet

* * *

**Work:** Femme  
**Prompt** Imagine Mikaela in the g1 verse with her suit. Now, who first? ;-)  
**Content:** Implied Xeno, Mikaela in a bot!suit

The patterns of Wheeljack's vocal indicators were too complex and fast for humans to decipher, but the HUD on Mikaela's new suit made the message all too clear.

"Really?" she asked with a saucy chuckle as he flashed the suggestive pattern once again.

"I made the suit fully functional for a reason, Mikaela," he said without apology.

* * *

**Work:** For the Beauty of the Earth  
**Prompt:** Do the Autobots ever find out what Hound did? If so, what happens?  
**Content:** Aftermath of genocide

When he figured out the truth, Beachcomber was tempted to leave Earth and never look back. How could he face the repercussions of Hound's actions, and, more importantly, what his oaths and coding demanded he do in face of such crimes?

The truth was, Beachcomber had toyed with similar actions himself, dismissing them when the only viable solutions conflicted too deeply with his core coding and his Autobot oath.

He could not determine whether Hound was a monster or a hero, and the conflict inherent in his friend's actions made his processors to ache.

His oath demanded that he report Hound. Yet, with Earth thriving around him, and so many species that had been on the verge of extinction making such a glorious comeback, how could he? Would Optimus insist they rectify the 'error' and re-egineer the human species to its previous numbers? That, too, was an outcome Beachcomber could not face.

* * *

**Work:** Spider Web Infestations and Other Oddities on the Ark  
**Prompt:** What happens when the humans eventually find out about the 'spiderwebs?'  
**Content:** Crack

"You have one in your hair," Carly whispered, just to watch Spike flail and and squeal as Jazz chuckled in the background.

* * *

**Work:** I Am  
**Prompt:** How did the other Autobots react to finding out Jazz had bonded with Prowl?  
**Content:** Aftermath of violence, flirting and innuendo

The first thing Prowl felt from his bonded as Jazz lounged casually within the cell was a complete utter lack of remorse.

"Cliffjumper was released from medical," Prowl reported. "The injuries, according to Ratchet, were designed to maximize pain without incapacitating."

"Course they were," Jazz said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I know my business, mech."

"They should not have been inflicted at all," Prowl began.

"Prowler, the slag the Cliffjumper an' the others are sayin' stops now. No one talks that way about my bonded."

"Glyphs do not hurt me. Having some of our best assets out of commission hurts all of us. Do you honestly think that Cliffjumper believes you reprogrammed me as a pleasure drone and then bonded with me?"

"Well... you are sure pretty in the berth. And those sounds you make."

Prowl's sensor panels gave a rather large twitch and his hand moved to ever-so-casually stroke the seam in his chest.

"It will be difficult for you to elicit more of those noises from me if you are behind stasis bars, Jazz. May I suggest that you rethink your strategy?"

"Was hopin' maybe you'd join me in here," Jazz admitted, casually fingering his thoracic port.

"Considering I was the one to place you there? That would hardly be appropriate. I do hope having ten orns to think about what you are missing will assist you in making more appropriate decisions in the future," Prowl observed as he left and the guards took his place.

Later, as Jazz was squirming from the feedback of what could only be Prowl stroking his own corona (likely in their quarters, though he wouldn't put it past the tactician to be doing so in his own locked office), he wondered just what kind of sadist he'd bonded with. And just how many orns would be added to his sentence if he temporarily escaped?

* * *

**Work:** Aegis  
**Prompt:** So, what DID happen when Mirage showed back up? Or how did Seaspray and Beachcomber's first time with the rest of the cohort go (if it went at all?). Was there ever a happy sexy pile of snuggles? :D  
**Content:** Non-explicit tactile and spark intimacy, fueling as sex, aftermath of implied major injuries, fluff

Seaspray and Beachcomber sat watching, their helms leaning against one another in warm companionship as the surges of relief-pleasure-love continued to wash through the bond. Mirage was sandwiched between his two larger lovers, writhing in the ecstasy of the reunion. It was a stunningly beautiful sight to behold.

The master spy overloaded yet again as Hound and Trailbreaker injected the finest of energon into his lines. It had been specially formulated to assist the spy in his recovery, lovingly stored in the aegismechs' auxiliary tanks after siphoning their distillers. The energon, infused with specialized repair nanites and healing isotopes had also been injected into Mirage's lines several times while he'd been in stasis, but this was the first time he'd experienced the fruits of the distillers' constant efforts while online.

Seaspray and Beachcomber basked in the flood of gratitude from Hound and Trailbreaker as they continued to lavish their love on their lost cohortmate. Their aegisbond protocols continued to feed the distillers key data on Mirage's needs, filtered through the need Hound and Trailbreaker had for their lover to be well again. The distillers both shivered in shared anticipation of being siphoned once again of the richness forming in their tanks in response to those signals, this time with the awareness of Mirage connected to the cohort bond. He might not be their Aegis, but the need for him to be whole was shared by them all.

* * *

**Work:** A Sticky Situation  
**Prompt:** What made you decide to explain sticky this way?  
**Content:** Special operations actions of dubious ethics, consent issues (xenomods with viral code), implied character death, ficlet that doesn't answer the prompt, total crack

The experiment with the Phallic Exoskeletal Non-procreative Intercourse Simulator and the accompanying Vascular Ultra-Lined Vaginal Archetype was deemed a great success, if one considered that the Autobots were now just as obsessed non-procreative intercourse as their organic allies.

Then Jazz had the idea of accidentally leaking half of the technology to the the Decepticons, along with some key coding tweeks. Megatron now had an army full of mechs with aching, needy, well lubricated carlies, lined with overclocked nodes deep inside that could not be reached in a conventional manner, and a not a spike anywhere to offer them relief.

All it took was Prime and Ironhide offering them a demonstration during a lull in a battle, and Soundwave and Starscream finally teamed up, took out Megatron, and sued for peace and PENISes.


End file.
